A Modest Proposal

Fact: More people voted in the 2008 American Idol finals than in the 2009 Presidential Election.

In a competitive, reality-show obsessed society of citizens looking for an escape beyond the screen of their TV, few find the time to fully immerse themselves in the politics by which they are governed. This ignorance leads those who wish to claim their citizenship by utilizing their right to vote to cast their ballot blindly along party lines, forgetting that the name “Republican” and “Democrat” carry different meanings with each passing day. The issue is simple. There is no excitement in watching a presidential debate when one could just as easily be watching a more enticing program such as Lost or Dancing with the Stars. The reality TV show intelligently blends competition with charismatic judges, unique contestants, and unpredictable human emotion. Presidential campaigns, on the other hand, consist of two boring men and women in over-ironed suits and American flag pins spitting out legal and political jargon which proves nothing about the individual. Thus, politics are lost on the average Joe Plumber who settles on his couch with his wife and five kids to watch Mario Lopez on Dancing with the Stars.
In order to place politics back on the priority list, I propose a change to the way in which the President of the United States is selected. Throw away podiums, suits, and legal jargon. Throw away primary elections, for they are unnecessary and boring. I propose a competition that will reveal various aspects of each candidate’s talent, intelligence, strength, and critical thinking. I propose a reality-TV show in which three Democratic and three Republican presidential nominees will battle in a series of competitions, and the American people will vote for who they wish to remain in the running to become the next President of the United States.

The first round of this competition will mirror a game-show. The longevity of shows such as “The Price is Right” prove that game shows have captivated audiences since their introduction in the 1950s, therefore this first round of “The Next President” will be sure to draw a huge number of viewers. Since some of America’s best and brightest have appeared on Jeopardy, the first round of contests will be similar in format. Each candidate will select a category and a question pertaining to politics and history and will answer in question form. At the end of the game, the two candidates with the highest scores will automatically move into the next round, while the American people will have a week to call in and place a vote for the other candidate they wish to see move on. This particular round will prove a few things. First, the American people will be able to see just how “book smart” their candidates are and how learned they are on the history and politics of the country which they wish to govern. Secondly, it will show how each candidate can remain composed under pressure, while five other men or women attempt to be the first to the buzzer. Since the current president of the United States will be the host, Americans will have a chance to see how the new candidates act and wittily converse with the current President, which would signal how easily the candidate could work with the President during their transition to the White House. After this round, the two candidates with the lowest number of votes will be eliminated.

We all love a war hero. Therefore, the second round of “The Next President” will center on the candidates’ abilities with combat. The four candidates will be placed in the wilderness for a week with nothing more than a water bottle, a large gun, and the clothing on their back. Each candidate will have to search for their own food, fight against wildlife, planted terrorists, and Mother Nature, while trying to make it to the finish line approximately 200 miles away from the starting point. The last candidate to cross the finish line will be eliminated. Many characteristics of the potential Presidents will be exploited with this challenge. Firstly, each candidate’s combative skills will be highlighted, which would prove who is most suited to be the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces. Secondly, Americans will be able to separate the cry babies from the tough guys as each candidate battles through Mother Nature’s less favorable qualities. Thirdly, the ability for the candidates to stay calm under pressure will be assessed, which is a needed trait when dealing with the stress of the White House.

The third round of “The Next President” will again utilize the votes of the American people. Since the President is the “face of America” as well as the most important foreign ambassador, each candidate will test their charisma and charm in a dance competition. The competition will feature each candidate dancing with their first lady. After all, as Jacqueline Kennedy and Michelle Obama have proven, first women have an iconic role in society. The pairs will be instructed in different forms of ethnic cultural dances, and will perform their four strongest pieces in front of a panel of professional dancers, Supreme Court justices, and Simon Cowell. The American people will again be able to exercise their rights as responsible citizens and can text on call to place their vote for their favorite couples.

At this point in the campaign period, only two candidates will remain, either from the same party or from different parties. Instead of engaging in a stiff debate, each candidate will make a serried of appearances on morning talk shows and late night talk shows to show off their wit, intelligent, and charisma. After each candidate has appeared on every required show including The Tyra Banks Show, Rachel Ray, Regis and Kelly, and Jay Leno, Americans will cast their vote via text or phone, since leaving the house is clearly causes major problems for some Americans who just cannot get to the conveniently located voted booths.

Of course, this program would be paid for with tax dollars; however its popularity will justify any cost. Since education clearly has not engaged students sufficiently in politics, why base the Presidential election on politics when American citizens would rather be watching other programs? Let us embrace our American ways: democracy and reality TV.